In our private lives, and especially in terms of our professional endeavors, we often fall victim to our own worst politics.
Not expressed in upright, straight English as you or I know it, but rather in that peculiar dialect known as (ahem) “Political Speak” - a language fluently filled with bizarre euphemisms and double-talk.
Political Speak may be confusing to those who don’t circulate up to their armpits among politicians, particularly those who may be new to the local military community in general.
A phrase like, “Hey, shipmate!” can involve several definitions, most extremely derogatory in nature, if that designated “shipmate” isn’t considered to be carrying his or her own weight in relation to the workload and its inherent responsibilities.
A seemingly innocent-sounding statement like, “Fireman Timmy here is FUBARed,” (meaning a sailor dubbed “Fireman Timmy” is actually a hopelessly inept member of the crew who should be thereafter recognized as the ship’s foul-up), actually becomes a major insult.
When one well-seasoned Navy wife says to another, “Meet Rita. She likes to have a good time,” it’s universally interpreted by other wives to mean: “Rita is a deployment bar fly who tends to get very drunk when she goes out and frequently sleeps with other men when her husband is at sea.”
Trust me on this.
A few of the more commonly used Political Speak phrases and their literal translations military members learn to understand only too well:
“Let me look into that for you.” Translation: “You’ve got a problem which definitely isn’t my problem, but I’ll give your problem about one millisecond of my time to satisfy your need for immediate gratification before I blow you and your problem off completely.”
(Word to the wise: Never get on the bad side of anyone who handles paperwork - especially your paperwork.)
“I’ll get right on that.” Translation: You say you’ve got a problem which I consider to be a very minor problem in comparison to the more important problems I am dealing with right now. But telling you this will get you off my back for at least the next 24-hour period, at which time I expect to have enough to time to properly look into this problem for you. ”
“How are things? Hey, they’re just peachy.” Translation: “If I haven’t angrily inserted the ‘F’-word with an ‘ing’ attached into my response between ‘just’ and ‘peachy’ when you redundantly call me down in my work center to find out how things are going as we are sweating the load to get the ship underway on time, rest assured that ‘things’ are just fine.”
Obviously, what we say and what we mean to say can be two entirely different things.
Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes not, but when it comes to Political Speak you have to be even more careful - what is said to you might not be what is being said at all!
